In NLP, a frame is a snapshot of how you perceive something. Your experiences are individual frames – you believe something at that moment.
Reframing is the NLP technique to change that frame. Emotions are frames you learnt in childhood, through reframing the emotion can be re-learnt as an adult using your new available skills. Whenever you experience anger, you use your new frame instead.
Everything we experience is subjective, in that everything we experience is a per person experience. Your friend experienced anger at a different time and in a different way, and therefore has a different response to anger to you. Only you can change your experiences.
There is two kinds of learning: Experiential learning – you learn through your own experiences and Social learning – you learn from your social interactions.
Once you have built strong frames, do not accept weaker frames or seek validation from social interactions.