This one’s for the friends, family and partners.
You don’t have to fix anything. You just have to make it a bit easier for them to be themselves: give time, write things down, offer help without grabbing, and notice the effort.
What to know
If someone in your life is dyspraxic, the most helpful thing you can do is understand what it is. You don’t need to become an expert. A clear idea of the basics goes a very long way.
Dyspraxia affects coordination, planning, and organisation. It’s lifelong, and it has nothing to do with intelligence or effort.
They’re not being careless. They’re working harder than you can see.
Believing them is the best place to start.
Things that help
Most of what helps is small and costs nothing. It’s less about doing things for someone and more about making it easier for them to do things themselves.
- Give time: No rushing, no sighing.
- Write it down: Texts beat spoken lists.
- Offer, don’t grab: “Want a hand?”
- Share the plan: Where, when, how to get there.
- Follow their lead: Laugh when they laugh.
- Notice effort: Not just the outcome.
Words matter
The words you choose in an awkward moment matter more than you might expect. A small change in phrasing can turn an embarrassing moment into an unremarkable one.
| Instead of | Try |
|---|---|
| “Careful!” (too late) | “You OK?” |
| “Here, let me do it.” | “Want a hand, or shall I leave you to it?” |
| “We’re all a bit clumsy.” | “That sounds really tiring.” |
Please don't
Some habits, even well-meant ones, tend to make things worse. If you recognise any of these, don’t worry. They’re easy to change once you’re aware of them.
- Make it the group joke: Unless they started it.
- Film or post their mishaps: Without asking first.
- Assume they can’t: Ask what they’d like to try.
- Take over: Slow isn’t the same as stuck.
Planning together
A lot of difficulty can be avoided at the planning stage. Thinking ahead about where you’re going and how you’ll get there removes much of the pressure.
- Pick activities that work: Or just ask what suits them.
- Send details in advance: Address, time, parking, entrance.
- Build in buffer time: Rushing makes everything harder.
- Let them sit one out: No explanation needed.
Small kindnesses
Often it’s the tiny, unspoken gestures that mean the most. They show that you’ve noticed, without making a point of it.
- Carry the drinks: Without comment
- Hold the door: Bags are a lot
- Text the address: With a pin
- Save the end seat: Easy in and out
- Ask, don’t assume: Every time
Wrapping up
You don’t have to fix it. Just make it easier to be themselves.
You won’t get it right every time, and you don’t need to. What dyspraxic people remember is who was patient, who didn’t laugh at the wrong moment, and who asked before stepping in. Being that person is enough.
Next in the series: Dyspraxia vs Dyslexia vs Dyscalculia: What’s the Difference?
This post is for general information and isn’t medical advice or a diagnosis. If it resonates, speak to your GP or an occupational therapist.