Rehearsed a phone call ten times and still dreaded it? AuDHD and anxiety often go together.
Why so anxious?
Anxiety is very common in autistic and ADHD people. Living in a world not built for your brain means constant uncertainty, overload and fear of getting things wrong.
Your anxiety isn’t irrational. It often has real reasons.
Anxiety is very common among autistic and ADHD people, and there are good reasons for it. If the world is often too loud, too fast and too vague, your brain learns to stay on guard. If you have a history of forgetting things, running late or getting social situations wrong, it is natural to worry about doing it again. So the anxiety is often a reasonable response to real experience, even when it grows bigger than the situation deserves.
Where it comes from
Side by side, it looks like this:
| Autistic side | ADHD side |
|---|---|
| Uncertainty and change | Forgotten tasks piling up |
| Unwritten social rules | Running late, again |
| Sensory overload | Fear of messing up |
| Masking all day | Racing, looping thoughts |
Both sides can feed the worry.
What it can look like
You might recognise some of these:
- Rehearsing conversations before and after
- Checking the door is locked three times
- Dreading an event for weeks
- Avoiding phone calls and post
- A tight chest before a busy day
Calm your body
- Slow your breathing: Breathe out for longer than in.
- Move it out: A walk, or shaking it off.
- Cool down: Cold water on your wrists.
- Weighted comfort: A heavy blanket or firm pressure.
- Reduce input: Dim lights, headphones, quiet.
Calm your mind
- Make things predictable: Plans, routines and previews.
- Write it down: Worries look smaller on paper.
- Name the worry: “This is anxiety talking.”
- Plan for the worst case: Then it’s less scary.
- Get support: Therapy adapted for autistic people helps.
Where to start
Work on both the body and the cause. Slow breathing, movement and reducing sensory input calm the body. Making life more predictable, with plans, routines and information in advance, removes some of the triggers. If anxiety is getting in the way of daily life, speak to your GP. Support works best when it is adapted for neurodivergent people.
The bottom line
You’re not overreacting.
This post is for awareness, not diagnosis or treatment. If anxiety is affecting your life, talk to your GP. In England you can self-refer to NHS Talking Therapies. If you’re in crisis, call Samaritans on 116 123.
Want the swipeable version? This post is also a carousel on Instagram: follow @johnhasaudhd for more on life with AuDHD.