Out of spoons by lunchtime? Spoon theory might help explain it.
What is spoon theory?
Spoon theory imagines your energy as a set number of spoons each day. Every task costs spoons, and when they’re gone, they’re gone. AuDHD brains often start with fewer, and spend them faster.
Running out isn’t weakness. You started with fewer.
Spoon theory is a simple way of talking about limited energy. You imagine starting each day with a set number of spoons, and every task costs some. When they are gone, you are done. Many AuDHD people find it helpful, because their energy is used up by things other people do without effort: coping with noise, masking, switching tasks, remembering what comes next. That hidden cost explains why an ordinary day can leave you with nothing left.
What costs spoons
Side by side, it looks like this:
| Autistic side | ADHD side |
|---|---|
| Socialising and masking | Starting boring tasks |
| Sensory overload | Remembering everything |
| Unexpected changes | Staying focused |
| Phone calls | Tracking time |
Hidden costs add up fast.
What it can look like
You might recognise some of these:
- Running out of spoons by lunchtime
- No spoons left for cooking dinner
- Borrowing from tomorrow, and paying for it
- Needing a whole day to recover from one event
- Other people not seeing what things cost you
Count your spoons
- Notice your costs: Which tasks drain you most?
- Plan your day: Big tasks when you have spoons.
- Leave a buffer: Keep a few spare.
- Spread out big events: Not all in one week.
- Use it as a scale: “I’m on three spoons today.”
Refill your spoons
- Rest before you crash: Not only afterwards.
- Special interests: They can refill you.
- Sensory breaks: Quiet, dark and calm.
- Say no: It protects your spoons.
- Ask for help: Share the load.
Where to start
Try noticing for a week which activities cost you the most, and which give energy back. Then plan around it. Put demanding things where you have the most energy, leave some in reserve, and space out big events. It also gives you an easy way to tell others how you are doing.
The bottom line
Spend your spoons on what matters.
This post is for awareness, not diagnosis.
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