Autistic person, or person with autism? Why the words we use really matter.
Why language matters
The words people use can say a lot about how they see autism and ADHD. Many autistic adults prefer identity-first language, like “autistic person”. Others prefer “person with autism”. Both are personal choices.
When in doubt, ask the person.
The words used about autism and ADHD carry assumptions. Phrases such as “suffers from” or “high functioning” suggest something is wrong with the person, or hide what they actually find hard. Many autistic adults prefer to say “autistic person”, because they see autism as part of who they are. Others prefer “person with autism”. There is no single correct answer. What matters is that people get to describe themselves in their own way.
Common swaps
Put next to each other, the difference is clear:
| Instead of | Many prefer |
|---|---|
| “Suffers from autism” | “Is autistic” |
| High or low functioning | Describing support needs |
| “Normal” | Neurotypical |
| “Special needs” | Access needs |
Respect starts with the words.
Phrases that can sting
Everyone is different, but these come up again and again:
- “You don’t look autistic”
- “Everyone’s a bit ADHD”
- “You must be high functioning”
- “It’s only mild autism”
- “Stop being so dramatic”
Affirming language
- Autistic, ADHD, AuDHD: Words many people choose themselves.
- Neurodivergent: A brain that differs from the typical.
- Support needs: Instead of functioning labels.
- Neurotype: Your kind of brain.
- Disabled: Many people use it with pride.
How to get it right
- Follow their lead: Use the words they use.
- Ask if unsure: “How do you describe yourself?”
- Accept correction: Say thanks and adjust.
- Avoid pity words: No “suffers from” or “brave”.
- Keep learning: Language changes over time.
Where to start
If you are not sure which words to use, listen to how someone talks about themselves and follow that. If you get it wrong and are corrected, say thank you and adjust. Nobody expects perfection. Being willing to learn shows respect, and that matters more than getting every term right first time.
The bottom line
Use the words people choose.
This post is for awareness. Language preferences vary from person to person, so always follow the person’s own words.
Want the swipeable version? This post is also a carousel on Instagram: follow @johnhasaudhd for more on life with AuDHD.