AuDHD and rest: Rest, without the guilt

Feel guilty the moment you sit down? Let’s talk about AuDHD and rest.

Why is resting so hard?

The ADHD side often feels restless, or guilty, when it isn’t doing something. The autistic side needs real recovery time. Together, you can feel exhausted but unable to switch off.

Rest isn’t lazy. It’s maintenance.

Rest is harder for AuDHD people than it sounds. The ADHD side gets restless, and often feels guilty when it is not being productive. The autistic side needs proper recovery time with little input and nobody to respond to. So you can be worn out and still unable to switch off, or spend your rest time scrolling and feel no better afterwards. A lot of people only stop when they are ill or burnt out.

Two needs

A quick comparison:

Rest looks different for each side.

What it can look like

It varies from person to person, but it often includes:

• Scrolling when you meant to rest
• Feeling guilty on a day off
• Cleaning instead of relaxing
• Only resting when you’re ill
• Never feeling rested, even after a weekend

Rest that works

• Active rest: Walks, crafts, puzzles.
• Sensory rest: Dark, quiet and soft.
• Social rest: Time with no one to talk to.
• Comfort rewatching: Familiar shows count.
• Special interests: They can refill you.

Drop the guilt

• Schedule rest: Put it in the calendar.
• Rest before you need it: Not only after burnout.
• Redefine productive: Recovery is useful.
• Notice the signs: Irritable, clumsy, overloaded.
• Start small: Ten minutes counts.

Where to start

Work out what actually restores you, because it may not be lying still. A walk, a craft, a familiar programme or time with a special interest can all be rest. Put it in your calendar like any other commitment, and rest before you are exhausted. You do not need to earn it.

The bottom line

You’re allowed to rest.

This post is for awareness, not diagnosis.

Want the swipeable version? This post is also a carousel on Instagram: follow @johnhasaudhd for more on life with AuDHD.