What's happening?
Many ADHD brains struggle to feel time passing, or to judge how long things take. Meanwhile, the autistic side often needs to know exactly when things will happen. That’s a tough combination.
Being late isn’t about not caring. Time just feels different.
Time is one of the places where the two sides of AuDHD clash most clearly. Time blindness makes it hard to feel minutes passing, so five minutes and fifty can feel much the same. The autistic need for predictability means being late, or not knowing when something will happen, can cause real anxiety. The result is often a lot of worry about time, alongside real difficulty managing it. Many people swing between being very early and being late, with little in between.
Two different clocks
Put next to each other, the difference is clear:
| Autistic side | ADHD side |
|---|---|
| Needs to know the exact plan | Can’t feel how long things take |
| Anxious about being late | Loses track of time anyway |
| Plan changes feel huge | Says yes, then double-books |
| Needs time to switch | Leaves it to the last minute |
So you can be anxious and late at once.
What it can look like
Everyone is different, but these come up again and again:
- Thinking a task will take 5 minutes, and it takes 2 hours
- Hyperfocus eating a whole afternoon
- Checking the clock again and again before leaving
- Arriving really early, because you can’t trust your sense of time
- Forgetting anything that isn’t happening right now
Help for the ADHD side
- Make time visible: Analogue clocks and visual timers.
- Work backwards: Set a leave time, not an arrive time.
- Add a buffer: Double your first estimate.
- Label your alarms: “Leave now for the dentist.”
- Warn yourself early: A 10-minute heads-up before switching.
Help for the autistic side
- A weekly overview: One place, easy to see at a glance.
- Routine anchors: Fixed points the day can hang off.
- Plan new places: Route, parking, which entrance.
- Have a plan B: So changes feel less like a crisis.
- Build in recovery: Quiet time after appointments.
Where to start
The fix is to stop relying on your internal clock and put time where you can see it. Use visible clocks and timers, and set alarms for when to leave rather than when to arrive. Then add more buffer than you think you need. It is not a personal failing to need outside help with time.
The bottom line
Not lazy. Not rude. Different clock.
This post is for awareness, not diagnosis. If time is affecting your work or daily life, your GP or an ADHD coach can help.
Want the swipeable version? This post is also a carousel on Instagram: follow @johnhasaudhd for more on life with AuDHD.