Five to-do lists in five places, and none of them working?
Why do lists fail?
Most to-do lists turn into long, overwhelming walls of tasks. The ADHD side forgets to check them. The autistic side may freeze at vague tasks like “sort house”.
The list isn’t the problem. The format is.
To-do lists are supposed to help, yet many AuDHD people find they make things worse. The list gets long and overwhelming. The ADHD side forgets to look at it, or picks the fun items and leaves the rest. The autistic side stalls on vague entries, because it is not clear where to begin. Before long there are several lists in several places, and the same task has been carried forward for months.
Why lists go wrong
Side by side, it looks like this:
| Autistic side | ADHD side |
|---|---|
| Vague tasks cause freezing | Forgets the list exists |
| Needs a clear order | Far too many items |
| Upset by unfinished lists | Picks the fun tasks |
| Needs detail | Loses the list |
A better list helps both sides.
What it can look like
You might recognise some of these:
- Five different lists in five places
- Writing the list and calling it a day
- Adding done tasks just to tick them off
- The same task carried over for months
- A list so long it’s scary to look at
Write it better
- One place only: One app or one notebook.
- Start with a verb: “Email Sam”, not “Sam”.
- Make tasks tiny: Clear first steps.
- Three for today: Pick three, park the rest.
- Add time estimates: Five minutes? Do it now.
Keep it alive
- Keep it visible: On the fridge or home screen.
- Review it daily: Same time, every day.
- Celebrate ticks: Colours, stickers, streaks.
- Delete old tasks: Some things don’t need doing.
- A done list: Record what you did finish.
Where to start
Keep one list in one place. Write each item as a small, specific action that starts with a verb. Each day, choose just three things and leave the rest out of sight. Keep the list where you will see it. It can also help to write down what you have done.
The bottom line
Done counts more than planned.
This post is for awareness, not diagnosis.
Want the swipeable version? This post is also a carousel on Instagram: follow @johnhasaudhd for more on life with AuDHD.