“I’m not nervous, I’m excited.” “I didn’t fail, I found a way that doesn’t work.” Reframing is the habit of looking at the same facts in a different light. It is one of the most useful ideas in NLP, and one of the best supported.
What reframing is
A frame is the meaning you give an event. Change the frame and the feelings and choices that follow can change too. NLP describes two main types:
- Content reframing changes what something means. “My boss’s critical email means she dislikes me” becomes “It means she wants this done properly.”
- Context reframing changes where a trait is useful. “I’m stubborn” becomes “I’m persistent, which is a strength when negotiating.”
Where the evidence is stronger
Reframing is not unique to NLP. It is the heart of cognitive therapy and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), where it is called cognitive restructuring: notice the thought, test how accurate it is, and find a more balanced view. CBT has a large evidence base, and cognitive restructuring is one of its main tools.
Research on emotion regulation also finds that “cognitive reappraisal”, re-interpreting a situation to change its emotional impact, is generally linked with better emotional wellbeing than suppressing feelings.
So the idea is sound. What NLP adds is mostly a different vocabulary and some catchy formulas.
A simple method
- Notice the thought or the story you’re telling yourself.
- Ask “Is this the only way to read it?”
- List two or three other readings that fit the facts.
- Choose the one that is both believable and useful.
- Act on it.
Example
- Situation: A friend hasn’t replied to your message.
- Frame 1: “They’re ignoring me.”
- Frame 2: “They’re busy and will reply when they can.”
- Frame 3: “I can send a quick check-in and see.”
Reframing in hypnosis
Hypnotherapists use reframing in suggestions and stories: “that tingle in your stomach is energy getting you ready.” This is part of why hypnosis for performance anxiety can help (see hypnosis series, parts 36 and 48).
Limits
- It isn’t positive thinking at any cost. A frame has to fit the facts to be believed.
- It doesn’t cancel real problems. Reframing a dangerous situation as safe would be a mistake.
- It isn’t for trauma. Don’t reframe someone else’s pain for them, and don’t expect self-help reframing to resolve serious distress.
- Timing matters. Offered too early, it can sound dismissive.
The bottom line
Reframing is a simple and well-supported skill. Practise it on small things first, and if your thoughts are stuck in a painful groove, a CBT therapist can help you do it properly.
Next in the series: NLP Eye Accessing Cues: Can Eye Movements Reveal a Lie?
This article is for general information and is not medical advice.