Wondering whether to tell your boss, or your friends, that you’re AuDHD?
A personal choice
Telling people you’re AuDHD is called disclosure, and it’s always your choice. It can bring understanding and support. It can also bring doubt or stigma. There’s no right answer.
You never owe anyone your diagnosis.
Deciding whether to tell people you are autistic and ADHD is personal, and there is no single right answer. Telling someone can lead to understanding, practical support and less need to mask. It can also lead to doubt, awkward questions or unfair treatment. The balance depends on who you are telling and why. You might be open with close friends, selective at work and private elsewhere. All of those choices are reasonable.
Weighing it up
A quick comparison:
| Possible upsides | Possible risks |
|---|---|
| Adjustments and support | Being misunderstood |
| Less masking | Unfair treatment |
| Deeper connection | Endless explaining |
| Encouraging others | Doubt or dismissal |
Only you can weigh it up.
Who you might tell
It varies from person to person, but it often includes:
- Close friends and family
- Your manager or HR
- Teachers or tutors
- Your GP and other health professionals
- Online, or on social media
Before you tell
- Know your why: Support, understanding, or both?
- Choose your timing: Calm, private moments.
- Plan what to say: A short explanation is enough.
- Know your rights: At work in the UK, the Equality Act applies.
- Start small: Tell one safe person first.
How to say it
- Keep it simple: “I’m autistic and ADHD.”
- Explain what it means for you: “I need written instructions.”
- Share a resource: A post or article.
- Set limits: You don’t have to answer everything.
- Ask for what helps: Be specific.
Where to start
Before you tell someone, think about what you hope will come of it. Start with a person you trust. Keep the explanation short, and say what it means in practice and what would help. You decide how much to share, and you can choose not to answer questions.
The bottom line
Your story, your choice.
This post is for awareness, not legal advice. Disclosure is always your choice. Acas can advise on disclosure at work in the UK.
Want the swipeable version? This post is also a carousel on Instagram: follow @johnhasaudhd for more on life with AuDHD.